Part III: Dating food, myself and new challenges

I’ve been trying to write this final post in the series for a week. I was having difficulty because of my latest physical challenges. The daily pain truly wears on me. Today it is just a dull ache, especially in my lower back and both legs. I have just enough energy to write this tonight.

Eating healthy can be a challenge when your quality of life is low. I realized that over the past week. My pain level shot up to an excruciating level and all I wanted to do was eat sweets. I wanted to fall into those bad habits again. I gave myself the weekend, especially since it was a holiday weekend, to eat whatever I wanted.

My body is so used to “good” food that my face actually started to breakout a tad on Monday. That’s all I needed to rein it in and get back on track. I hadn’t eaten that poorly in a long time. It’s nice to know that my body can tell the difference and rejects it. The constipation, bloating and breaking out was a sharp reminder that I can’t ever do that again.

It is difficult being single, trying to heal and battle this daily pain. I have to really pace myself, especially now that I am working again. While I can multitask at work, I cannot do it at home. The pain lately has been so bad that I can barely stand once home for the evening. I’m also a slight neat freak, so it has been tough to not have everything in its proper place, dusted and vacuumed.

There’s no one

to help cook dinner or clean up afterward

There’s no one

to help feed my sweet cat or clean his bathroom

There’s no one

to help fold the laundry

There’s no one

to help me…

I let my pain shine through on here but rarely show it in-person.  While I am proud of the health changes I have made, my body is constantly reminding me that I cannot physically do the things I used to do.

My next goals are to finally get that health insurance through work, get my scans done (two months late) and then get to the bottom of why I’m having so much skeletal pain and get the pain managed. Only then will I be able to get into a daily exercise routine other than walking.

Always remember, when you make your goal to lose weight, you will typically fail. When you make your goal to eat healthy and just be healthy, you will be surprised by the dramatic results.

Your mindset is key and building that relationship with food, yourself and adjust to your new path (still hate that word journey).

 

Until next time,

Warrior Megsie

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