Rise like a phoenix…eventually

How many of you deal with constant fatigue? It has been one year and three months as NED (no evidence of disease). I will be two years post chemo on 2/26/18. I’m still so utterly fatigued. I have been taking my high dose OTC iron 2x per day that my oncologist recommended six months ago and still tired and bruising. The neuropathy in my hands and feet has not gotten any better. The nerve damage is just done. I’m supposed to see my onc next Monday. I still don’t have health insurance or a job.

I have hit an all-time low for me…preparing to file for Medicaid and disability. I’m devastated. I couldn’t do my job because of the severity of my post treatment side effects. I have no income at the moment. My job search has yielded absolutely nothing but rejection and frustration with recruiters the past five months. My immune system is shot, so I have suffered from three colds in those months, too. I personally know I need REAL rest but also know I have bills and student loans and rent. I have worked so hard over the years and now…this is scary. I am calling my onc’s office tomorrow to let them know my lack of insurance/possible Medicaid situation, as well as some other cancer organizations, too.

I’m embarrassed. It’s all directly related to breast cancer.  Here I am educated and intelligent but physically not bouncing back and no immediate income. I thought getting cancer as a single person was one of the worst things to happen to me.


It’s the possibility of losing all I have and not being able to provide for myself and my cat (who is my child). I have leaned on my family so much for financial support. It’s unfair to them.

At least now I am armed with research of what and how to apply for disability and Medicaid. I plan on getting an advocate to help as well. It’s a lot to do on my own, especially as I still wrestle with residual chemo-brain and the ongoing fatigue.

I keep my blog real and raw. Cancer truly does change everything. Though I am seriously kicked down, I will rise back up like the phoenix that I am. Who knows what news tomorrow may bring, right?

“We hardly dare trust that this is a process of transformation – that out of the ashes will rise the phoenix of humanity.”
― Lucy H. PearceBurning Woman


Warrior Megsie

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